A Few Good Men

Directed by: Rob Reiner
Starring: Multiple JAG officers, a couple soldier murderers, and a Scary Colonel
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COM. DEMI MOORE, ESQ.
Hey, you've been assigned to represent two privates accused of murder.

LT. TOM CRUISE, ESQ.
Okay. By the way, you're hot.

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LT. TOM CRUISE, ESQ.
Why did you kill that guy?

SOLDIER MURDERERS
We were ordered to give him a code red.

COM. DEMI MOORE, ESQ.
Hmm...this sounds interesting. Let's investigate it further.

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LT. KEVIN BACON, ESQ.
I'm the prosecutor. You should give up.

LT. TOM CRUISE, ESQ.
I should hate you because you represent the bad side, but you also play softball with me, so I'm conflicted.

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LT. TOM CRUISE, ESQ.
Hey, I found our missing witness.

COM. DEMI MOORE, ESQ.
That's good.

LT. TOM CRUISE, ESQ.
But he blew his brains out all over the wall.

COM. DEMI MOORE, ESQ.
That's bad.

LT. TOM CRUISE, ESQ.
We should give up.

COM. DEMI MOORE, ESQ.
Wait. Let's call Scary Colonel to the stand and make him confess.

LT. TOM CRUISE, ESQ.
That's a really dumb idea, but you're hot so it's okay.

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LT. TOM CRUISE, ESQ.
Scary Colonel, I want the truth!

COL. JACK NICHOLSON
You can't handle the truth!
(pause)
Well, that's all from me. Can I collect my paycheck and Oscar now?

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JURY
We find the defendants not guilty.

LT. TOM CRUISE, ESQ.
Hey, we won. So...what message does that send?

COM. DEMI MOORE, ESQ.
That it's okay to kill someone if you're stupid.

LT. TOM CRUISE, ESQ.
Just checking. Let's make out.

THE END