5.16.2005

The Fugitive

Starring: Federal Marshal Tommy Lee Jones, Dr. Harrison Ford, other federal marshals and other doctors, including Evil Foreign Doctor
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DR. HARRISON FORD
I didn't kill my wife. A one-armed man did it.

EVERYONE ELSE
Suuuuure... Now go to jail.

(Dr. Harrison Ford packs into a prison transport headed for San Quentin, which apparently requires the crossing of an active rail line. In a shocking series of events, a train slams into the van, tossing it aside and allowing Dr. Harrison Ford to escape.)

DR. HARRISON FORD
Woot, woot!

FEDERAL MARSHAL TOMMY LEE JONES
Hold it!

DR. HARRISON FORD
I didn't kill my wife.

FEDERAL MARSHAL TOMMY LEE JONES
Whatever.

(Dr. Harrison Ford jumps off a cliff into the river below.)

FEDERAL MARSHAL TOMMY LEE JONES
That...I wasn't expecting.

(Dr. Harrison Ford surfaces downstream. He shaves his beard and turns into Lt. Columbo.)

DR. HARRISON FORD (examining documents)
Aha! So Evil Foreign Doctor is the murderer!

EVIL FOREIGN DOCTOR
That's right. But if you were observant, the fact that I speak with a nondescript foreign accent would have triggered your suspicions from the very beginning.

(They fight in a dry cleaners. Dr. Harrison Ford wins.)

DR. HARRISON FORD
Hooray!

FEDERAL MARSHAL TOMMY LEE JONES
Sorry I tried to blow your head off before. Here, have an ice pack.

THE END

3 Comments:

At 5/17/2005 2:48 PM, Anonymous Chelsea said...

Dude, I LOVE your blog! It's frickin hilarious! Keep posting!

 
At 5/17/2005 3:00 PM, Blogger "Mister_Anderson" said...

Thanks, appreciate it.

 
At 3/11/2007 4:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I actually hurt myself laughing = D woot! woot!

 

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