Thirteen

Starring: Rebellious 13-Year-Old Girls and their Single Moms
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INNOCENT GIRL
I'm tired of being made fun of in school.

GIRL FROM THE WRONG SIDE OF THE TRACKS
Then come hang out with me and my friends.

(She does. Now they are dressing as sluts.)

GIRL FROM THE WRONG SIDE OF THE TRACKS
This is how you get a boy to like you.
(goes down on him)

INNOCENT GIRL
Cool.

AUDIENCE (shifting uncomfortably in their seats)
Uh...

GIRL FROM THE WRONG SIDE OF THE TRACKS
Now let's do drugs.

INNOCENT GIRL
Okay.

(They get high and cat-fight with each other, then begin to kiss.)

AUDIENCE (shifts again)
Um...

INNOCENT GIRL'S SINGLE MOM
What are you doing? Didn't I raise you not to do drugs, sleep around, and engage in lesbianism?

INNOCENT GIRL
Mom, you're so lame. This is what all the cool girls do. By the way, my new friend here is moving in.

INNOCENT GIRL'S SINGLE MOM
I can't handle this by myself! Where's your father?

INNOCENT GIRL'S DEADBEAT DAD
Here I am. I'll show up for just long enough to establish my futility... Okay, that should do it. See ya.

INNOCENT GIRL (to Good Friends)
Hi, guys.

GOOD FRIENDS
Go away.

INNOCENT GIRL
Oh no, I've lost all my good friends. Maybe being popular isn't what it's cracked up to be.

GIRL FROM THE WRONG SIDE OF THE TRACKS
Uh oh, my mom found out we've been stealing. Oh well, I'll just blame it all on you.

INNOCENT GIRL
I see now I should have been myself. Now I have no one.

INNOCENT GIRL'S SINGLE MOM
No, dear, you have me.

(They hug.)

AUDIENCE
We can't decide: indie film or thinly-veiled Lifetime afterschool special?

THE END