7.04.2005

Training Day

Starring: All the crooked cops in Los Angeles and Ethan Hawke
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DENZEL
Pay attention, kid. I'm going to show you how to be a cop in L.A. First lesson: smoke this crack.

ETHAN HAWKE
Uh...ok.
(does)

DENZEL
Second lesson: extort some dirty money.

ETHAN HAWKE
Uh...ok.
(does)

DENZEL
Third lesson: shoot this guy and make it look like self-defense.

ETHAN HAWKE
Uh...no.
(does not)

DENZEL
How dare you defy me! You just signed your own death warrant! Just playin', dawg. We're still tight.
(takes out a hit on Ethan Hawke's life)

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(Later that night, Ethan Hawke interrupts Denzel's booty call.)

DENZEL
Heh, I see you survived my hit squad. Well, you're a dead man now. All the brothas in this neighborhood have my back.

NEIGHBORHOOD BROTHAS
No, we just decided we hate you now.

DENZEL
Damn...
(gets his ass kicked)

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(Beaten and bruised, Denzel is driving home after the fight.)

DENZEL
This sure turned out to be one really shitty day.

(Suddenly, the Russian Mob shows up and turns him into swiss cheese.)

THE END

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