Chicago

Starring: Bridget Jones, Richard Gere, Queen Latifah, and Catherine Zeta Jones looking sexy
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(We see Bridget Jones shoot her boyfriend. Then she begins to sing and dance.)

GUYS IN AUDIENCE
What the hell?

QUEEN LATIFAH
I'm big, black and bad.

(Richard Gere shows up, "singing".)

RICHARD GERE
"I don't care about expensive things..."

(Immediately half the audience gets up to leave.)

LONE AUDIENCE MEMBER STILL SITTING
Wait, look! It’s Catherine Zeta Jones in black leather!

(The audience returns to their seats. Some more songs are performed. More importantly, Catherine Zeta Jones remains clad in black leather.)

FEMINISTS IN AUDIENCE
That movie rocked.

GUYS IN AUDIENCE (fantasizing about Catherine Zeta Jones)
Oh yeah.

(Three months later, the Academy Judges meet in an undisclosed location.)

ACADEMY JUDGE 1
Let’s see…last year we placated the African American lobby and Schizophrenics of America. Which group should we appease this year?

ACADEMY JUDGE 2
How about the Militant Feminists?

OTHER ACADAMY JUDGES
Works for us.

(Chicago wins Best Picture for 2002.)

THE END