Kazaam

Directed by: (deleted out of sympathy for the director)
Starring: Shaq...do you even need to know the rest?
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(Lost Moviegoer wonders into the theatre.)

LOST MOVIEGOER
Excuse me, is this the screen for Jerry Maguire?

PIMPLY-FACED USHER
No, this is the screen for Kazaam, the film starring L.A. Lakers' center Shaquille O'Neill as a wish-granting genie in a magical lamp who befriends a young city boy and—

(Lost Moviegoer leaves the theatre.)

THE END