Leviathan

Starring: Robocop, Brooke Shields Clone, Ghettobuster, Washed-Up TV Star and Voice of Kevin Arnold
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(An underwater mining team finds a slimy genetic mutation in a submerged Russian sub.)

ROBOCOP (calling the surface)
Help! A slimy genetic mutation is attacking us! It just ate the guy who does the adult voice of that wuss from "The Wonder Years"!

BROOKE SHIELDS CLONE (over the radio)
We'd like to help, honest. But there's this really bad hurricane up here. Yeah, it sucks. Won't be able to send a rescue ship for a few days.

ROBOCOP
Hurricane? But isn't it springtime?

BROOKE SHIELDS CLONE
Gotta go. *Click*

ROBOCOP (to the others)
The Compan...err Corporation has left us for dead. We'll have to fend for ourselves. The creature appears to be hiding in the dark areas of the ship. I'll take this flame thrower. You guys take these other weapons. Let's split up and find it. If we can't kill it, we'll have to abandon ship by way of the portable shuttle.

WASHED-UP TV STAR PLAYING THE DOCTOR
Sounds like a plan. For my part, I will turn on all of you and sabatoge our escape efforts.

GRUNGY MINER
Hey, one of the monsters is inside me and about to burst out of my chest.

GHETTOBUSTER
Wait, does all of this remind anyone else of that famous sci-fi horror movie, also involving a group of miners, where...

THE DIRECTOR
Uh oh, they're onto us. Better throw them off the scent.

(The monster from The Thing shows up.)

GHETTOBUSTER
Hmm...never mind.

(The monster eats everyone except Robocop and the hot girl, who escape to the surface.)

BROOKE SHIELDS CLONE
Welcome back. I knew you'd make it.

(Robocop punches her in the face.)

TOM CRUISE (in the audience)
Yeah! Take that, bitch!

KATIE HOLMES
You know, that isn't Brooke Shields.

TOM CRUISE
Damn.

THE END