The Prestige

Directed by: Christopher Nolan
Starring: A bunch of magicians and David Bowie
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WOLVERINE THE GREAT
Help me tie up my wife during the magic show so we can dunk her in this water tank and let her escape. But don't tie her knots too tight.

THE MAGNIFICENT BRUCE WAYNE
Okay.
(ties her knots too tight and she drowns)
Oops.

WOLVERINE THE GREAT
Now I hate you and will devote my life to ruining your magic tricks.

THE MAGNIFICENT BRUCE WAYNE
Yeah? Well, I hate you and will devote my life to fucking with your head.

THE OLD MICHAEL CAINE
Also, I figure into this plot somehow.

(The Magnificent Bruce Wayne creates a nifty magic trick in which he appears to teleport across the stage.)

WOLVERNINE THE GREAT
I must know how he does it. David Bowie, help me!

DAVID BOWIE
I'll help you, but understand that your obsession will only lead to your own doom.

WOLVERNINE THE GREAT
Blah, blah, blah. Just help me teleport shit.

(David Bowie builds him a cloning machine, allowing anyone who uses it to make perfect duplicates of himself. Wolverine the Great incorporates it into his act, making himself appear to teleport across the auditorium.)

WOLVERINE THE GREAT
Cool...but it might look a tad suspicious if I start walking around town with all these duplicates. Should I donate their bodies to science? Nah, I'll just drown 'em.

(He drowns one duplicate in a tank but is discovered by The Magnificent Bruce Wayne, who is then charged with Wolverine the Great's murder.)

THE MAGNIFICENT BRUCE WAYNE
Woe is me.
(gets hung)

WOLVERINE THE GREAT (the one still alive)
It looks like everything is wrapped up into a nice little package.

THE MAGNIFICENT BRUCE WAYNE (shows up)
Hi.
(shoots him)

WOLVERINE THE GREAT (dying)
Huh?! Aren't you dead?

THE MAGNIFICENT BRUCE WAYNE
No, that was my twin brother. See how the plot now makes sense?

AUDIENCE
Not really. How did that cloning machine work?

(Silence.)

SCARLETT JOHANNSON
Don't forget, I played a pivotal role in this film!

AUDIENCE (five minutes after the movie ends)
Too late.

THE END