Beetlejuice

Directed by: Tim Burton
Starring: Alec Baldwin, his Temper, Geena Davis, her Bad Hair, Winona Ryder, her Black Clothes, and Michael Keaton
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ALEC BALDWIN (to Geena Davis)
I love you. Let's go for a drive.

(They do.)

GEENA DAVIS
Oops, we crashed our car. Now we're dead.

(She's right.)

ALEC BALDWIN
Looks like we're confined to our house for eternity. If we step outside, we'll get eaten by those things from Tremors.

(Annoying Family moves in their house but can't see Alec Baldwin or Geena Davis since they're GHOSTS.)

ALEC BALDWIN
Bah, we hate Annoying Family. Beetlejuice, help us get rid of them!

BEETLEJUICE
Okay, but first I have to eat this bug and hit on your wife...not necessarily in that order.

GEENA DAVIS
Wait, we've had a change of heart. We like Annoying Family's Gothic Daughter and want to let them stay.

BEETLEJUICE
Too late, babe.

(Alec Baldwin, Geena Davis and Gothic Daughter outsmart Beetlejuice and send him to Tremors Land.)

(One week later...)

ALEC BALDWIN (checks his watch)
Where the hell is Gothic Daughter? We're trying to end this damn movie, and we've been waiting for her to get home from school for forty minutes! She's supposed to call if she'll be late!

(Gothic Daughter finally shows up.)

ALEC BALDWIN
Why didn't you call? You're late!

GOTHIC DAUGHTER
No, I'm not. Maybe you can't tell time.

ALEC BALDWIN (angrily to Gothic Daughter)
You see this watch? This watch cost more than your emo wardrobe. I made $970,000 last year; how much was your allowance? You see, kid, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice girl? I don't give a shit. Good daughter? Fuck you, go home and play with your decapitated Barbies. You want to show up late, CALL.

(Gothic Daughter starts to cry.)

GEENA DAVIS
Looks like you were too harsh. Let's cheer her up by doing that thing where she dances in midair to Harry Belafonte.

THE END